Writing & Reflections

A conversation that circulates frequently within the gay male community is that it’s difficult to find love. Central to this is the role that Apps have in structuring the gay dating experience, marked by quick hook-ups, ghosting, and a culture of superficiality at the level of who is desirable and who is not. Of course, things are not all that different in the straight world. People, regardless of their sexual orientations, complain of how difficult online dating can be. But

How courage bridges the gap between despair and hope When someone begins therapy, they bring different amounts of hope to the process. Hopes about relationships, the future, careers, and family life. Some talk of specific goals they want to achieve, hoping that these are within reach and working tirelessly towards them, while others bring a variant of “I don’t see the point anymore”. Hope also waxes and wanes during therapy – two steps forward, one step back. Hope followed by

Reflections on loss, grief and relief in the parent-child relationship. “You promised me,” pleads Debbie in Shameless (US, S2E11), begging her mother, Monica to get out of bed during the Thanksgiving episode. Monica, who lives with bipolar disorder and substance misuse, is sunk in depression and unable to move. Her youngest daughter is left to grapple with a new and painful question: what does it mean when a parent can’t, or won’t, be a Parent with a capital P? This scene dr

One of the challenges of starting therapy (if the anxieties about beginning weren’t already enough), is choosing the right therapy and a therapist .   In this post, I’ll outline some of the main therapy types available and key things to consider when choosing a therapist.   Choosing a therapy Broadly-speaking, there are three dominant types of therapy to choose from: Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy (CBT), psychodynamic/psychoanalytic therapy, and trauma-focused therapy (e.g. EM

The decision to start therapy is a big step.   It is common for people to feel anxious about what it means or how it might go. Some worry about whether it will help, some about the level of commitment or financial investment, and others about whether they will be judged. This is perfectly normal. Like entering any kind of unknown space, a degree of anxiety about what will happen is normal. It is not a sign that something is wrong, but a sign that something matters enough to m